EIGHT WAYS TO SPOT A DISHONEST DATE: by Dating Expert Caroline Preson, Ed.D.,P.C.C.
l. Eyes Aflutter - When people lie, their blink rate tends to go up.
2. The Eyes have it. - Conventional wisdom says that liars don't look you directly in the eye. And sometimes this is the case. However, research shows that practices liars will actually give you more eye contact than people telling the truth.
3. Frankly, my dear. - People who lie often feel the need to draw your attention to their trustworthiness. They may preface statements whith words like "honestyly," "Frankly," and "truthfully." They're also liketly to make assertions such as "I would never lie to you" and "I'm not lying."
4. Coll anc casual. - Most people expect liars to be nervous, but practiced liars know how to act casual while weaving a web. They may have their feet up or be slumped down in a chair as the lies flow.
5.Behind the smile. - A liars's smile is different from a truth-tell's smile. According to research, true "enjoyment smiles" are so big and bright that you'll notice a crinkle around the eyes. These authentic smiles last for less than five seconds. The "masking smile", tends to last longer than five seconds, doesn't involve the eyes, has a hint of negative emotion, and may be crooked.
6. Sticking to it. - Good liars stick to the true parts of their story as much as possible and insert lies at key points. If you suspect you're being lied to, don't be fooled into thinking that the whole story is true, even if you can confirm that parts of it are true.
7. Derailed by details. - Liars often try to divert you from their falsehoods by detaing you to death. they'll get you so bogged down by the minutiae of the story that you lose track of what theyre saying or you get tired of listening. Never hesitate to ask for clarification if the story seems confusing or doesn't add up.
8. It's not me, it's you. - If you catch someone in a lie, they'll frequently try to turn it back on you. "You must be crazy. I never said that!" or "You must have memory loss becasue that's not the way it happened."
What to do when you suspect someone your're dating is repeatedly lying to you? In order to feel more secure in the relationship, let them know that even though the truth can hurt, you want to deal with things honestly and openly. The truth will untimately be better than losing trust and being devastated by lies.
The more people lie and get away with it, the more lies they tell. Stop the cycle by confrontin ght lies!
These tips are not only for our Cinderellas but also all those batch '63 who are dating.
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