New Year Greetings

The New Year is a moment of quiet reflection. Reflect on the year gone by; of the happy gains and missed opportunities. Recount the good and bad of the past year. Introspect on your personal growth, and learn from the experience. New Year is the time to ensure that we bring balance to our life with positive influences overriding the negative ones. Let's look forward for the best this 2011 !

We Share Your Grief

To Rizalino Baluyot Jr. and family, May you feel God's comforting presence during this time of sorrow. We share your grief for the loss of your brother .

HOLIDAY GREETINGS 2010

Bumabati kami sa lahat -----
MALIGAYANG PASKO at MANIGONG BAGONG TAON!!!


Pete at Josie Javier-Macalua

Happy Holidays

The essence of CHRISTMAS is Love, JOY, and Peace. Look into your hearts,look back into the past months of this year, how much did you share these with others ? Have a Blissful Holidays!

New Way of Stealing Card Numbers

Hackers and evildoers have developed a new way of stealing your identity without even seeing your cards!

Please watch this video and be warned:

http://www.wreg.com/videobeta/?watchId=8ba6f8fc-90a2-4711-90ea-1884ec348310

Tingle Bells

DIRECTION

I was trying to find directions at Google Map. Try this:

1. Go to Google Maps.

2. Go to "Get Directions"

3. Type Taiwan as the start location

4. Type China as the end location

5. Read STEP 23 of the directions.....

Tell me what you find.......

Basahin at Tumawa Para Sumaya

I am sharing these funny lines. Laugh and look younger, Batchmates !


FACELIFT
Pasyente ... magkano ang facelift?
Doktora ... complete treatment ay P145,000
Pasyente ... mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata?
Doktora ... heto tsupon, P20 lang!!


ORDER
Customer ... waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? ilan ang cook nyo dito?
Waiter ... ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang. pipse!!


PROBLEMA NGA
Pasyente ... Doc, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng umaga dumudumi ako...
Doktor ... so, anong problema doon?
Pasyente ... Eh alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.


CUSTOMER
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
Lady sitting next asked, 'are they your babies?'
Man: 'No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints!'


ACCIDENT
A lawyer driving on a highway notices a crowd in an intersection.
With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he shouted,
'I'M THE SON OF THE VICTIM.'
Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.
There he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people...a pig bumped by a trailer truck!


PINTURA
Erap ... Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.
Loi ... Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!
Erap ... Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.


MANNY PAKYAW
Reporter ... Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na?
Manny ... Ano'ng bill? yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawa't round sa bukseng?


HIWALAYAN
Wife ... maghiwalay na tayo!
Man ... ok! akin ang bahay!
Wife ... Akin ang farm!
Man ... Akin ang kotse!
Wife ... Wag mo isama driver, matagal ng akin yan.
Man ... Magkakamatayan tayo! Akin siya!


HOLDAP
Lola ... Amang, wala akong pera!
Holdaper ... Alam ko kung asan ang pera mo...[sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni Lola]
Lola ... Ituloy mo iho, may dollars pa sa ibaba!!



Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot Ilocana. When her husband died, she
inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.
The ad taker said: "300 pesos for 5 words."
She said: "Pwede ba 2 words lang? 'Tanoy dead' "
Ad taker: "No mam. 5 words is the minimum."
After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: "Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo,
"TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE "


Boy: 'Nay, anong ulam natin?
Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.
Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?
Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!


Caloy: Tay ,di ba sabi mo bibigyan mo 'ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa Math?
Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?
Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.




Man at 33 quits smoking. Will Power;
At 43, quits drinking. Will Power;
At 53, quits gambling. Will Power;
At 63, quits having sex. Power Failure.



Kano (trying to speak Tagalog): Meg-kanow isang kilow mang-gow?
Tindero: One way.
Kano : Meg-kanow?
Tindero: I sed ONE WAY.
Kano : Aynowng ibig sabeyhin ng one way?
Tindero: Isang daan. Understang?!



Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba!
Loi: S'an ang balitang yan?
Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; "British tourist lost 2000 pounds."




MMDA (with pen and ticket to a traffic violator): Name?
Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz.
MMDA: Ahhh okay...(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?



BF: Sunduin kita mamaya, ha? Bubusina na lang ako pag nasa harap na 'ko ng bahay n'yo.
GF: Sige. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo?
BF: Wala. Busina lang...


(Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...)
Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging
may suspicious mind, highly alert, insistent
personality, strong sense of hearing with a killer
instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka?

Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun
misis ko na lang ang mag-apply?


Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO.
But....when HE cancels a date...... he HAS TWO.


Junior: 'Nay, bibili ako ng HIGH CAKE.
Nanay: Hindi "high cake", anak - HOT CAKE 'yun.
Junior: Ok 'nay, whatever. Pahingi na lang ng pera.
Nanay: Sige, kumuha ka na lang d'yan sa SOLDIER BAG ko.


REGALO
Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni Pare ang birthday gift mo ah?
Mrs : Oo nga, 7 months na, di pa rin ginagamit.
Mare: Bakit, ano bang regalo mo sa kanya?
Mrs : Memorial Plan.

DIAMOND
Juan : Birthday ng asawa ko.
Pedro: Anong regalo mo?
Juan : Tinanong ko kung anong gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman ang sabi?
Juan : Kahit ano, basta may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Anong binigay mo?
Juan : Baraha.

TOOTHPICK
Customer: Ano ba naman itong toothpick nyo, iisa na nga lang, ang dali
pang nabali?
Waiter : (Niinis). Alam nyo sir, ang dami ng gumamit nyan, pero kayo
lang ang nakabali!

CONFIDENT V/S CONFIDENTIAL
Anak: Itay, anong kaibahan ng confident sa confidential?
Itay : Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bestfriend mong si Tikboy,
anak ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan.

FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES
Anak : Inay, totoo ba na "First Love Never Dies?
Nanay: Aba, oo. Tingnan mo yang Tatay mo, hanggang ngayon buhay pa ang
animal!!

SUKO SA MISTER
Mrs. 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko - lagi na lang akong binubugbog bago
niroromansa.
Mrs. 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko - binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang
niroromansa.

BAGONG KASAL
Mrs: Ano ba? Two days na tayong kasal, wala pa rin.
Mr : Kasi pagod ako.
Mrs: Sige ka, pag ayaw mo, maghahanap ako ng lalaki.
Mr : Sige, gawin mong dalawa, tig isa tayo!

Pasko Na !