This piece is for the batch '63 boys...noon !! Just to sive a name for the feelings you had then when you were so happy drinking beer and wine.Identify which you have often experienced.I am sharing this blog to you all.
1 Star Hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last
night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole
lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able
to function relatively well. However, you are still
parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and
still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving
a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.
2 Star Hangover
Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely
amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and
mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and
remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which
is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked
havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor
about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money
because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net
and writing junk e-mails.
3 Star Hangover
Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a
pace cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you
gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots
you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you
out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in
your bed with a dozen donuts and a liter of coke. You've had 4 cups of coffee,
a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a liter of diet coke
- yet you haven't peed once.
4 Star Hangover
Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else
you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has
already lambasted you for being late and has given you a
lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that
can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot
shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding
the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like
one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject
from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa
1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following:
1. Home time,
2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or
3. A time machine so you could go back and
NOT have gone out the night before.
5 Star Hangover
(aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell)
You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently.